My Frustration with Telemarketers

I think I can speak for most of the general population when I say telemarketers drive us crazy.  Just because I am at home does not mean that I have time to answer surveys or listen to some sales pitch or whatever else it is that they are calling about.  Most of the time I’m in the middle of something with the kids (well when am I not in the middle of something with the kids!) and go running to the phone only to find out that it’s a telemarketer.  It’s so frustrating!  And not only that but they can be so pushy and rude!

The other day when I was busy feeding my kids lunch, a telemarketer phoned – well actually two of them called in a row, both from the same company.  They got me really upset and I ended up yelling at them.  My kids stopped eating their lunches and just stared at me with this “oh my gosh – mommy’s mad” kind of look on their faces.  That was it, that was my breaking point!  I now have call display on my phone (which in my efforts to consume less and save money had not used) and have put all four of our numbers on the National Do Not Call Registry (which apparently is not very effective).  So now I am only going to answer the phone if I recognize the number.

Back to why I was yelling at a telemarketer.  The first person I was talking to asked me if she could take a couple minutes of my time to answer a few questions.  I told her no, I did not have a couple of minutes and asked if I could be removed from their calling list.  She proceeded to say that she has some sort of free gift if I just answered a couple of questions.  At this point I should have hung up the phone but I really wanted to get my number removed from their calling list.  So I asked again if I could have my number removed.  She said she just had a couple of questions.  So I said fine ask me the questions.  I answered her questions, she then proceeded to tell me that I had ‘qualified’ for a free gift (which previously she said would be mine if I answered a couple of questions – no mention of qualifying) and that I could come by & pick it up at some sort of presentation and she proceeded to give me an address in a city located an hour and a half away.  I then told her I didn’t have time to come & pick up the gift and that I wanted to speak to her supervisor.  She said “But it’s a free gift”.  This is where I started getting mad – I just want to be taken off of their calling list!  I told her again that I do not have the time and that I want to speak to her supervisor.  After a little bit of yelling I finally got her supervisor on the phone and asked him to take me off the calling list.  He started with the whole “But it’s a free gift” thing, so I yelled at him too.  Why can they not understand that I’m busy, I do not have time to drive an hour and a half any where to pick up some “free gift”!  So finally I got the supervisor to agree to take me off of their calling list.  Then not even a minute later a different guy from the same company called again asking me if I had a couple of minutes to answer a couple of questions.  I blew my lid!!

The other type of call that we get daily is a recording asking if we are interested in their product to press #1.  Again, in an effort to get my number removed from their calling list I’ve pressed one.  When I do get someone on the other end and ask if I can have my number removed from their list, they simply hang up with nothing said.  Rude & frustrating.  The last time they called, I asked if I could have the name and nubmer of their supervisor and if I could speak to them.  The guy told me that his supervisors name is “Dial Tone” and game me some fake phone number.  I guess that was his way of being funny!

So I guess I’m just going to wait and see how the call display works on the telemarketer situation and maybe the National Do Not Call Register will actually work as well.  Save me some stress in my day hopefully!

Sleep Deprivation

Who would have thought that with a new born in the house that it would be the 3 year old and 18 month old keeping me up at nights!  The new born actually sleeps quite well.  People quite often ask me either how I’m sleeping or how the baby is sleeping, the only ones who are not surprised when I tell them that it is the older children keeping me awake are the experienced moms.

Today during play group, I was chatting with another mom about sleep deprivation.  She said that her daughter is 8 years old and she is just now starting to recover from sleep deprivation.  She had mentioned that it affected every aspect of her life, she was constantly bumping into things, forgetting things and really just had trouble functioning.  Sleep deprivation affects different people in different ways and to different extremes.  I know of another mom who finds it unbearable to get less than 6 consecutive hours of sleep.  I think the newborn stage of 3 hour feedings will haunt her for years to come.

My work and this website suffer because of my sleep deprivation, which can be very frustrating.  Like for example, throughout the day I get several ideas for topics that I want to write about but when I actually get the time to sit down and write – all my ideas vanish.  I guess I should carry a notepad with me all day – however I can’t really see that being very successful either.

I’d say for me the biggest frustration with sleep deprivation is being unable to communication with adults.  I find I have difficulties starting and carrying on a conversation with another adult.  I always thought that when other mom’s used to make comments about how they have to remember that they are in adult conversations, that they were referring to their tone of voice and not using ‘baby talk’.  For me it’s just trying to find the right words so that what I’m saying actually makes sense and what’s coming out is actually what I’m trying to say.  Do any of my recent articles make any sense?!

Sleep deprivation is difficult to deal with.  I know that the only reason I can function at all is from the graces that God provides.  When I don’t lean on Him for support during these tough days, the days become unbearable.  Everything is a battle, even my interactions with the children!  He is the only reason I get through and can handle and manage every day.

I guess all will come in it’s own time & way!  This is just another stage of life that will all to soon change to a different stage.

The Art of Sharing

Recently another parent asked me how I deal with the issue of sharing between siblings (or any other children.)  Documentation and studies show that children do not develop the concept of sharing until at least 4 or 5 years of age.  And really if you think about we as parents are probably the biggest ones to blame for this.

Right from infancy we teach our children what is theirs and what is ours – “babies bottle, babies blanket – don’t touch – it’s Mom’s (or Dad’s)” etc.  So we’re teaching them about possessions at a very early stage and when it comes to them touching our ‘stuff’ on the most part we teach them how not to share.  So really, why should we expect children to understand the concept of sharing at an early age?

Sharing is something that needs to be taught and as with almost everything else, best to start early.  There are certain items and times that I do not expect children to share.  ‘Special’ or ‘Comfort’ items do not need to be shared, the child can share those items if they choose but it is not expected.  As for times when I do not expect children to share – when a child receives a new item or toy (birthday’s, Christmas etc.)

Basically our rules are if ‘child A’ has something and ‘child B’ wants it, ‘child B’ has to first ask ‘child A’ if they can have it.  If the response is no, then ‘child B’ will have to find another item and try to trade ‘child A’ for the first item or wait until ‘child A’ is done with the item.  If ‘child B’ takes the item away, they will have to give the item back and apologize and patiently wait for ‘child A’ to finish with the item.

If the children continue to disagree on the item, the item is taken away and they both have to find something else.

This is the same with books, usually when I’m reading a story to one, the other one wants to join in.  Occasionally there are disagreements as to which page each child wants to linger on.  If they cannot agree to read the book nicely, I put the book away and ask them to each pick a different book to read.  If the disagreements continue, I stop reading books to them until they can co operatively read together.

So basically my philosophy is more of a taking turns rather than actually sharing.  So far it seems to be working well.  Let me know how you deal with the issue of sharing, I’d love to hear what you have to say!

Is it just me or is it a mom thing?  I’ve been sick with a head & chest cold for over 3 weeks now and when I take a little bit of time to relax and try to get better I feel so guilty.  In the 3 weeks that I’ve been sick it went through the whole family as well.  Everyone else had it for about 3 or 4 days and got better, I think the reason that I’m still sick is because I just don’t take the time to recuperate.  I made sure that when everyone else was sick that they got the rest that they needed but I just can’t do that myself.  There’s just too much that needs to get done.

So any way this past Saturday I woke up feeling pretty terrible so I decided when I put the kids down for naps that I would take the time to rest myself.  I didn’t try to get any work done or do any house hold chores, I just did my spiritual reading and relaxed (well as much as I could anyway – the oldest kept coming out of his room).  Then later that night when the kids were in bed, instead of going to work I just sat and watched t.v., this is something that very rarely happens.  If I am sitting watching t.v. I usually either have work in front of me or I’m folding laundry – I’m never idle.

As I was sitting resting I felt so guilty – I should be doing something.  There’s just so much to do, that I shouldn’t just sit and relax.  Guilty, guilty, guilty.  Now why is that?  I’ve been unsuccessfully fighting a cold for 3 weeks, felt miserable and yet I felt guilty for resting and trying to look after me a little bit.  In reality the amount of time that I actually took to relax was about 2 hours total, but I did feel much better the next day.

I know that I need to look after myself and rest regularly if I’m going to be the best person (mom , wife, friend, contractor) I can be.  I guess this is just one more area that I have to put more focus and work on.

The Issue of Bullying

It’s funny how you start to remember things from your own childhood after you have your own children. I’ve blocked out a lot of my childhood over the years so at times it can be quite surprising when I do remember things.

Bullying is a topic that is getting more and more attention. It is huge issue and a large concern for many parents. It’s devastating to find out that your child is the victim of bullying and possibly worse to find out that your child is a bully. There are many anti-bullying campaigns and the issue is being discussed more and more all the time.

I am thankful that there are as many resources available as there are now. When I was in elementary school the subject was never discussed and the resources were not available. As a child that was bullied I felt I had nowhere to turn for help. It seemed like bullying was just considered normal childhood teasing.

The first time I was bullied was in kindergarten, I tried going to my older sister for help. She was in the same play ground and saw what was happening. But she just laughed and basically told me to leave her alone. I guess maybe she felt intimidated as well being as it was older kids that were picking on me. By the end of the recess break, I had an intense headache and nausea from the experience.

The teasing was relentless and became violent on two other occasions. In grade one I was pushed off of the slide and broke an arm, a few years later I was brutally tackled in “flag” football (I wasn’t even close to the ball) and ended up with a broken collar bone. In each of these aggressive events, the teachers all told my Mom that they were accidents. So somehow I always ended up feeling like it was my fault.

I started some very destructive behaviors at a very young age. I am very blessed that shortly after my Dad left, my Mom moved us to a different town. This was the opportunity for me to reinvent myself, stop the destructive behaviors and start over.

I don’t think most people really understand the destructive forces of bullying. I think most people think that it’s just a matter of “sticking up” for yourself, but there’s really more to it than that. When you are bullied by a group – which is usually the situation – you really feel powerless. Imagine having six or more people chasing you around a playground, with no place to go, no one to jump in and help and no teachers in sight, how do you think you would feel. Would you be able to “stick up” for yourself?

I am very happy to see that there are many people who are working very hard to stop bullying and give the victims a “safe haven”, a place where they can talk about their experiences and get help. The Alberta Government has a couple of programs in place, and there are many other resources available as well. Many schools have programs in place as well. I hope these resources will help encourage everyone to understand what bullying is and how it affects people. I have faith that as people become more compassionate, that bullying will eventually become a thing of the past.

For some information and links on bullying visit: www.b-free.ca/links.html